Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Latest Santa Banta Funny Jokes in Hindi – सान्ता बन्ता

Santa एक Nurse के प्यार में गिरा,
.
बहोत सोचने के बाद उसने नर्स को प्रपोज किया,
और कहा – “I Love you Sister”
________________________________________

Santa अपने बेटे का Admission करवाने स्कुल में गया,
तब उसके बेटे को पूछा गया – What is your mother tongue ?”
.
उसके बेटे ने Santa से पूछा, तो Santa ने जवाब दिया
बोल दे Very Long”
________________________________________

Banta : एक साधु से बोलाबाबा मेरी पत्नी मुझे बहोत हैरान करती है, कोई उपाय बताओ
.
साधु : बेटा, उपाय होता तो मैं साधु क्यों बनता !

मेंढ़क और सान्ता में बहस छिडी
मेढ़क – “तुम्हारे में दिमाग नहीं है
________________________________________

सान्ता – “हैं
मेढ़क – “नहीं है
सान्ता – “है
उतने में मेढ़क पानी में कूद गया
सान्ता – “ले अब, उसमें Suicide करने वाली क्या बात थी
________________________________________

एक आदमी ने सान्ता से पूछा – “अकल बडी या भैंस ?”
.
Santa – “पहले दोनों कि जन्म तारीख बताओ

प्रश्न – “सान्ता क्यो दरवाजे के बहार जाकर Exam दे रहा था
.
उत्तर – “क्यो कि वह Entrance Exam दे रहा था
________________________________________

बन्ता को एक आदमी ने पूछा
What is Ford ?
बन्ता – “गाडी है
आदमी – “What is Oxford ?”
बन्ता – “बैलगाडी

Santa को एक बहोत ही Difficult सवाल पूछा गया
सबसे पहले क्या आयामूर्गीयाअंडा” ?
.
Santa – “यार, सीधी सी बात है, जिसका Order पहले दोगे वो आयेगा ?”
________________________________________

सान्ता पहेली बार ट्रेन में सफर करने वाला था,
तब घोषणा हुई – “बिना टिकीट सफर करनेवाले यात्री होशियार….”
घोषणा हो ही रही थी की सान्ता बोला – “अरे वाह ! बिना टिकीट सफर करनेवाले यात्री होशियार और हमने टिकीट ली तो हम बेवकूफ
________________________________________

सान्ता – “इन्सान को जिन्दगी में कोई भी प्रोब्लेम हो तो कहा जाना चाहिए ?”
.
बन्ता – “किसान के पास…”
.
सान्ता – “क्यों ?”
.
बन्ता – “क्यों कि उसके पासहलहोता है

Monday, 28 March 2016

Latest New Santa Banta Jokes 2014

Santa student: Miss, kya aap mujhe raat ko call kar rahi thi??

Teacher: Nahi toh...

Santa: Kamaal hai, subah mere mobile pe likha tha...
.
.
.
.
MISS CALL..
_________________________________________________

Santa: Yaar Sooraj Raat Ko
Kyu Nahi Nikalta?

Banta:
Kya Pata Nikalta Bhi Ho
Andhera Itna Hota Hai Ki Dikhai Kuch Nahi Deta.
_________________________________________________

Teacher:What is the diffirence between pyar & shaadi?

Santa:very simple sir,pyar insaan ko andha bana deta hai aur shaadi insaan ki ankhen khol deti hai..!
_________________________________________________

Santa Ne Car Se 4Logo Ko
Daba Diya
Judge-Tumne Sarab V Nai Pi Thi Fir V Ye Q kiya?
Santa-Sir
IDEA Walo Ne Kha Tha Ki
Is Gaane K Liye 4Dabaye
_________________________________________________

3 sardar picnic par gae wahan ja kar yad aya k pepsi to ghar bhol gaye
Decide kia ki sab se chota sardar ja kar pepsi le aaye

Chota sardar:Main is shart par jata hun k tum mere ane tak samose nahi khao ge
Dono ne kaha thik hai
1 din guzar gaya sardar ni aya
2 din guzr gaye
2no ne socha k ab samose kha lne chahye

Jaise hi samosa uthaya chota sardar ped k peche se nikal k bola....

Aisa karo ge to main nahi jauga.
_________________________________________________

Santa Qabristan Me Charas Pi Raha Tha

Police=Kya Kar Rahe Ho ?

Santa=Abbu K Liye Dua,
Police=Ye To Bachche Ki Qabr Hai

Santa=Abbu Bachpan Me Hi Mar Gaye The.......
_________________________________________________

SANTA- Aaj kal zyada bachche judwa kyo paida hote hai?

BANTA-Desh me itna AATANKWAAD badh gaya hai ke bachche akele aane se darte hai.
_________________________________________________


45 saal ka SANTA ladki dekhne gya, Ladki ki Maa behosh ho gyi, Hosh aya to pucha KYA HUA.?

boli-18saal pehle ye muje b dekhne aya tha.:-D
_________________________________________________

Bhikari: kuch khane ko Dedo.
SANTA - TAMATAR KHAO
Bikari - roti dedo
Santa - TAMATAR KHAO
Bikari -l ao tamatar hi do
Santa ki Mumy - ye totla h,keh rha h,
KAMAKAR khao.
_________________________________________________
Santa- tumne itne chhote-Chhote baal Q katwaye?


Banta- naai ke paas 3 rupye khulle nahin the, to main bola 3 rupay ke aur kaat de.....
_________________________________________________

Santa2Banta:
SANTA- maine Pichle 20 Saalo Me 1 Baat Note Ki Hai !!
Banta: Wo Kya?
Santa: Saala Jab Bhi Faatak Band Hote Hai
Tab Train Jaroor Aati Hai.

Friday, 11 March 2016

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa banta jokes in hindi
Santa banta se: MBA ka matlab kya hota hai?
Banta santa se: nahi pata.
Santa banta se: Are aaj kal har jagah MBA ki dhoom
 machi hai.
banta: bata phir.
Santa banta se: MBA ka matlab "Mai Bhi Anna"
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Doctor: Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?

Santa: Pehle se zyada kharab hai.

Doctor: Dawai kha li thi?
Santa: Nahi, dawai ki sishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor: I mean dawai le li thi?
Santa: Ji aapne di to maine le li thi.
Doctor: Bewakoof dawai pee li thi?
Santa: Nahi dawai to laal thi.
Doctor: Abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha?
Santa: Nahi sir peelia to mujhe tha!!!

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Santa jokes in english
One dog was sitting under the santa car.
Santa: what r u doing under my car. Don' try to
 become an engineer.

Santa jokes in hindi
Ek kutta santa ki car ke niche baitha tha.
Santa gusse se, tu meri car ke niche kya kar raha
 hai. bada aaya engineer banane
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Fat Santa and Doctor banta Jokes in english
Fat Santa to Doctor banta: sir i wanted to reduce
 my weight.
Doctor banta to Fat santa: run 8 km every day and
come back after 300 days.
Fat santa is calling to doctor banta: Sir, i
reduced my weight but i am 24,000km away from my
 house.

Fat santa and doctor banta jokes in hindi
Fat santa doctor banta se: mujhe apna weight kam
karna hai.
Doctor banta fat santa se: roz 8 km doddo aur 300
din bad aana
Fat santa call karta hai banta ko: are mera weight
 kam ho gaya hai aur mai 24,000km door hu.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Santa And Professor jokes
Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Santa - My Wife Died Yesterday..
I'm Trying To Cry But Tears Are Not Come Out,
What To Do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine She Came Back. :D
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Santa's Army Test

Pappu- 3+5?
Santa- 8
Pappu- 7+3?
Santa- 10
Pappu- 8+8?
Santa- Pata Nahi Sir
Mere Pass Sirf 10 Hi Ungli Hai.

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Santa:Aaj Kisine Mere BAAP Ko Gaali Di.
Patni:Fir?
Santa:Maine Bhi Uske Baap Ko Gaali Di.
Patni:Lekin Wo Kaun Tha?
Santa:Mera BETA..
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Sardar Ki Beti Hoi.
Biwi: Suno Ji Jb Ye Bari Hogi Tou Larke Ise Tung Krn
 Ge.

Sardar: Me Ne Is Problem Ka Solution Dhondh Lia He
 Hm Iska Nam "BAJI" Rakhn Ge;-)

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Santa banta jokes in hindi yaha apko padhne ko milenge mazedaar jokes in hindi. Apne friends ko bhejiye funny hindi jokes, Funny Santa banta sms unhe bhi hasaaiye. Aapko yaha bahot hi mast hilorious Santabanta, bunta bunti, pappu preeto santa ke jokes bhi milenge. Santa or banta ki baate hoti hai bahot hi funny. Jo sabhi ko aati  hai pasand or hasati hai.. aaiye, padhiye or has has ke ho jaaiye lot pot..


Santa underwear lene dukaan per gya.Dukaandar ne usey 300 rupay ka underwear dikhaya..
Paise sun ker Santa Bola : Yaar roj pahnne wala dikhao, Partywear nahi Chahiye..
________________________________________
Jagjit Sigh Gaa Rhe the : Yeh Daulat bhi le lo, Yeh Sohrat bhi le lo….
Santa Utha : Main toh bahot Pareshan hu, Meri Toh Aurat bhi le lo..
________________________________________

Santa Bus me khada tha.. Break lagi toh ek ladki per jaa gira;
Ladki: Batameez, Kya kar rhe ho?? Santa : Engineering aur aap??
________________________________________

Teacher : A B C sunaao..
Santa: A B C
Teacher : Aur Sunaao..
Santa : Aur sab badhiya, Aap sunaao!!
________________________________________

Santa : Tera bhai aajkal kya kar rha hai??
Banta : Ek dukaan kholi thi, per ab jeil mein hai!!
Santa : Woh q?? Banta: Dukaan hathodi se kholi thi!!
________________________________________

Can’t stop laughing ……………..

Santa’s e-banking password was:
“ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal”
Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?
Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character aur 1 capital hona chahie….
Banta: wo sab thik hai, par Kejri uncle kyun ??
Santa: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai….
________________________________________

After Marriage!!
Santa: Oye bhabi ka kya naam hain???
Banta: google kaur!!
Santa: Esa kyun??
Banta: Sawal ek puchho jawab 10 milta hai…
________________________________________


Santa Kaun Banega Crorepati Main
Amitabh Bachchan: “What is you father’s name?”
Santa: Options Please.
Amitabh Bachchan:
A. Manjit Singh
B. Ranjit Singh
C. Happy Singh
D. Lucky Singh
Santa: “Life line-50/50 ”
Amitabh Bachchan:
A. Manjit Singh
C. Happy Singh
Santa: “Audience Poll. ”
Amitabh Bachchan:
75% Manjit Singh
25% Happy Singh
Santa: “I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Amitabh Bachchan: “Kise call karenge? ”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: “Apne baap Manjit Singh ko!!